Friday, February 25, 2011
I never feel like sewing or cooking or doing anything other than laying in the sun on my awesome fake fur coverlet and reading. Mostly I want to go stay at a hotel for a weekend alone. Just me and my iPod and maybe some food.
There should be a Groupon for Momcations (patent pending), where we can all escape, cheaply, money and guilt-wise, and relax watching whatever we want on a TV with nary a Dora to be heard. Maybe there's a cooler full of Diet Coke and Thin Mints. And sandwiches. I love a good sandwich. And an entire King sized bed to myself! A shower without worrying that Bee found a Sharpie! Watching Working Girl or Captain Ron all the way through without pausing to referee a toddler altercation! Listening to music full of expletives! Going 30 minutes without washing my hands or dishes!
Now's the part where I say I'll miss my kids. I might. More likely I'll miss the chaos. Like when I grocery shop without the boys I can't concentrate and end up forgetting things. And wander the store looking for random items because my brain is entirely focused on the task instead of bouncing from kid to kid and keeping all the fruits and veggies out of their hands and scales and then back to my mental list.
Or when I get to go clothes shopping alone, I end up with so much extra time, because I'm not buckling and unbuckling kids and talking them into getting out of the car, losing them in the store, going on the immediate Tommy Lee Jones-esque manhunt, the reunion, the harried checkout, the losing them a second time, etc...with which I do not know what to do.
So maybe I would have too much time. And no chaos. And that would be worse. Because at least in the middle of the chaos I get an occasional, "Mom, you're the best chef ever!" whilst I pour them a second bowl of Cheerios.