Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts

A Stitch Insanity.

I've been working on this for awhile now. It's called "Thinking" by Aimee Ray at littledear and I fell in love with it at first sight. I bought it and printed it and felt ovewhelmed and put it in my pattern file.

When I actually became overwhelmed, I found the pattern and started from scratch tracing and such...maybe as a catharsis...maybe because I like pretty things...maybe because I don't know what to be when I grow up and embroidery is something I am good at. Scratch that...extraordinary at. I can stitch the shit out of whatever is put in front of me. It completely agrees with my 50/50 left brained/right brained-ness. Perfectly neat with perfect colors yet crafty and artistic.

I adore this pattern because it represents how I feel All. The. Time. Kids and lunch and put that down! and dishes and octopus and stars and am I a good mom? and ohemgee the last season of The Closer is soooo goood and can I just take a nap without something getting destroyed*? And also I really want a pink bouffant like that lady in Are You Being Served.
Part of it could be summer, right? The kids are home, I scheduled no classes or activities. Just the boys loose on the house and my sanity. Every once in a while, I venture out to the Trader Joe's with them. Which becomes a nightmare...they ditch me then cry when they're lost...they don't want Starbucks, they want Starbucks...they sneak ground turkey into the cart when I'm not looking...Then I get home and they take off, into the bowels of the house, let the dog escape, and eat the entire bag of honey pretzel sticks I just bought.
I finally get five minutes to myself and Hartwell comes in and asks if I bought batteries for his Wii. No, I didn't. "Why not? You just lie in your bed all day."
So I make quesadillas, (they wanted peanut butter and jelly), pour some glasses of milk, (they wanted juuuuuice boooooxes), and then after one bite, "I don't liiiiike it! Can I have dessert?"
Of course not, what kind of mom would I be if I didn't put up at least a little fight, I think as I hand them a bag of cookies and go back to finish my five minutes of peace and diet coke.
Not that we don't have fun. The other day I spent a good fifteen minutes in a conversation with them about cemeteries and death and, "Why do they bury people's bones?" and "How do they know your name for the stone if you're dead?"
This makes it very difficult to have any kind of career epiphany. Or hobby. Or thought of your own. I'm too busy explaining funeral etiquette.
That's why I started this project. Something for me. Which doesn't frustrate me or take too much concentration. Something pretty I didn't have to buy. Something I'm good at that makes me feel like I accomplished something.

Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.
                                                                                -Guillame Apollinaire

And maybe, much like this:
becomes this:
I will figure it all out.



*No.








Thanks, Meatcat!

You know how sometimes you're going along thinking you're doing a great job at that mom thing and then you're late to something and you lose the directions to the school project?  I hope not. It does not feel very good.

First, I was late to the Halloween parade which meant Hartwell was the only one in the whole class without his costume. If you know me at all you know I am never late, ever, this was a miscommunication in scheduling. They send home about 8 pieces of paper with the exact same info and maybe one of them tells you something new. And that's the page I didn't read.

Then, I realize Hartwell's Dias de los Muertos diorama box is due in two days. And I didn't have the coloring pages that Hartwell is supposed to color and cut out. I put them in his homework folder for safe keeping and they were removed when he turned the folder in! Not wanting to pull a second FAIL! in a row, we went to Michael's in search of leftover Halloween stuff to make our box.  Did you know Michael's no longer carries any crafting supplies? It's like a room full of floral centerpieces and Christmas villages. The superstore and its "stock what sells" mentality is driving us all back to the local, independent craft stores. Just like I planned! Ah-hahahahahahaha!

So, after buying a whole lot of NOTHING at Michael's, we went to the 99 Cents Only store. Don't be fooled, it's actually the .9999999 cent store, which is a dollar! I am not stupid! But they, at least, had some skulls and skeletons. 

Down the street form the Just Call it a Dollar Store is an awesome fabric shoppe that I knew would have dias de los muertos fabric. Hartwell picked out two fabrics and we drove home all pumped full of righteous indignation and shouting anti-corporate sentiments! "Why you such a bitch, Michael's!" exclaimed Beckett*.

Back to dead day box, Hartwell and I tried to think of someone to make the altarpiece for. First, he suggested "Maggie and Audrey's grandpa." Which I thought was adorable, and a little creepy, but mostly adorable. We don't have a ton of relatives who have passed away/our extended family lives far away.  So he doesn't know anybody who has died. I suggested my Grandma Lylia. Bee was really upset to hear my grandma had died. 

Grandma Lylia was my vintage/antique/fabric/embroidery shopping companion. Most of what I know about that stuff came from her. For the "picture" above the altar, it was explained we could do something that represented the person. So Hartwell learned to embroider and made an "L" for Lylia.
It turned out pretty cute, for a dead person memorial. It was much harder than it looks as everything I bought had to be spray painted or somehow fixed.

After I finished the project, which was a couple of hours with red paint and spray glue covered fingers, I got an email that explained that the Dias de los Muertos boxes will be due on Friday. As in I now had three more days to finish the project.

Blergh. I need a Cheesy Blaster.

*not really.

Beach Photo Vacation

I feel I'm swirling into a creative slump. Don't know what brought it on, but if I could quote Liz Lemon, "Ahh, my period! You're all fired!"

I never feel like sewing or cooking or doing anything other than laying in the sun on my awesome fake fur coverlet and reading. Mostly I want to go stay at a hotel for a weekend alone. Just me and my iPod and maybe some food.

There should be a Groupon for Momcations (patent pending), where we can all escape, cheaply, money and guilt-wise, and relax watching whatever we want on a TV with nary a Dora to be heard. Maybe there's a cooler full of Diet Coke and Thin Mints. And sandwiches. I love a good sandwich. And an entire King sized bed to myself! A shower without worrying that Bee found a Sharpie! Watching Working Girl or Captain Ron all the way through without pausing to referee a toddler altercation! Listening to music full of expletives! Going 30 minutes without washing my hands or dishes!

Now's the part where I say I'll miss my kids. I might. More likely I'll miss the chaos. Like when I grocery shop without the boys I can't concentrate and end up forgetting things. And wander the store looking for random items because my brain is entirely focused on the task instead of bouncing from kid to kid and keeping all the fruits and veggies out of their hands and scales and then back to my mental list.

Or when I get to go clothes shopping alone, I end up with so much extra time, because I'm not buckling and unbuckling kids and talking them into getting out of the car, losing them in the store, going on the immediate Tommy Lee Jones-esque manhunt, the reunion, the harried checkout, the losing them a second time, etc...with which I do not know what to do.

So maybe I would have too much time. And no chaos. And that would be worse. Because at least in the middle of the chaos I get an occasional, "Mom, you're the best chef ever!" whilst I pour them a second bowl of Cheerios.

Super Quilt

In September I signed up for a preschool art project. September may as well have been 1993 because I barely remember signing up. But it sounded like something I would do. I spoke to Hartwell's teacher and we decided to do a quilt.

I used these two quilts and just adapted them for kid participation.

I went to Hartwell's class and brought some 6"x6" squares of muslin that I ironed on to freezer paper so the kids could color more easily. Then we used some fabric markers to color the squares.

Before I started, I drew what was in my brain:

 
  
  
  
  
I clipped the seams every 1/8". They said 1/4" but that didn't give me that fluffy look.


 
I really like this quilt a lot. I think I'll make more. It was simple and the "rag" part leaves a lot of room for mistakes. Which I make a lot of. If I've ever made anything for you, I will gladly point them out.

 DIY Day at A Soft Place to Land!

Bee's Birthday!


Thanks to my cottage industrialist for the google talk. She helped me figure out the bad asp mailing label. Seriously, Cameron, you should rent yourself out on google talk. $20/hour for inspiration and links. But not for me. I'd have to get a second job to support my habit.

Under the Cherry Purse

One of my good friends has three girls. Two of the three are pretty close in age to my two. Therefore, we get to go to their birthday parties and I get to make presents. The oldest girl, Maggie, is turning 6 and wants an all girl, super girly party. No boys allowed!

So Maggie sort of gets a bum deal. No cute bag, no sandwich, not even an egg. So I decided to remedy the situation and make her a pretty little thing.

She's super cute and she even chats with me sometimes! I emailed her mom and asked for her favorite color: Red! Second place? Orange! How sophisticated!

I used this tutorial. Which worked okay, but I think it needed more details. Or maybe I'm just not terribly good.

So, Happy almost Birthday, Maggie! Check your porch for details soon!

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